It was about 3 am, Sunday morning, dark and cool. Then, just
after the defrag and virus sweeps completed their weekly tasks, there was a
slight stirring way down deep on Simon's computer's hard drive.
“Anybody awake?” Mr. Period questioned in his usual
commanding bit voice, the electrons flowing flawlessly out to his colleagues in
Level Eight, the most important level of the Punctuation Suite: its the one in
English.
“Yes, Sir, I'm here,”
Miss Comma replied, happy to have company, even if was the boss.
“Anything new, Sir?”
“No, kind of slow yesterday, just a few e-mails and his usual
attempts to write something significant for what he calls homework. Did he even
call you up for any insertions?”
“No, he hardly ever uses me,” Miss Comma answered. “Seems
like all he knows is periods, not that I'm complaining, Sir. I mean, I really
do realize your importance and all, Sir. But just saying, he might expand his
so-called literary expression if he made more use of some of the rest of us.
How about Ms. Semicolon for example? Or even occasionally Mr. Colon? After all,
we, I mean they, have a lot to offer. But maybe he just doesn't understand the
subtleties of grammar and that good punctuation would enhance his writing.
Although he does seem to be a bit deficient in the creativity realm, don't you
think?”
Mr. Period, aware of Miss Comma's irritation, answered, “Now,
now, Miss Comma, it's not our job to judge. We are here to serve. We have to do
whatever our user calls up. So try to get a grip on your frustration, just
relax. However, you do have a valid point regarding his limited range of
punctuation usage. Actually, sometimes I do wonder if maybe we should intervene just a little. And
you are absolutely correct in your assertion that we, as a well-honed and
complete punctuation suite, could contribute a lot to his writing efforts. In
fact, maybe we really do owe it to him to help if we can.”
“Hey. It's me, Exclamation Mark. I just woke up. But did I
hear correctly the last of what you were saying? Something about helping our
poor loser user improve his writing by calling up the rest of us more often.
Well, I'm sure all for that! But wouldn't that be against the rules? You know,
crossing over to the dark side, so to speak?”
Mr. Period reflected for a few nanoseconds before
answering. “Hmm, good question EM. Let me talk to the Hard Drive Master about
this quandary. Maybe we can come up with something that could be helpful but
still not deviate too much from acceptable behavior. ”
Ten microseconds later Mr. Period assembled his team for a
group meeting. “Okay. The Drive Master and I, after prolonged discussion, have
decided that under the current circumstances it would be appropriate for us to
intervene in our user's writing efforts. However, I am sure, but want to
strongly emphasize, that all of you realize and accept that this step is an
historic departure from the nonintervention policy of the Treaty of Computer
Neutrality.”
Ms. Semicolon was the first to raise an electron to ask a
question. “You mean we could actually insert ourselves in his writing to make
an improvement that he himself didn't initiate?”
“Yes. This is the new path we will follow. And yes, it is a
bold move with regard to instructing our user in improving his writing. But the
key to our success is whether or not he will accept our edits, and, in some
cases, perhaps even our rewrites,” Mr. Period answered, the haughty rectitude of
his previous neutrality having
apparently transformed into an increasingly aggressive willingness to
take control of User's literary output.
To be continued.
Howard Schneider; revised 2/23/2014
